The day after a girl’s beach trip I felt crappy. Dry cough, headache, tired. It was no surprise. Four of us arrived in Florida, excited, our first-ever trip together. Two of the women I had known since age 12, the other (let’s call her Alysa) since high school and I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in thirty years!

  How wonderful it would be to catch up, relive old memories and create new ones. I felt safe with them- I knew my two longtime friends’ stance on COVID-19- one had it six weeks ago, the other- like me had been careful- wearing masks at the grocery store, on planes and was like me, a covid virgin.

 All of us vaccinated and boosted.

 The current dominant virus strain has no problem punching through our now-aging vaccines and boosters, but data show those vaccinated are less likely to wind up seriously ill or in the hospital. So yeah, it was risky but seemed worth it.

  After all, you have to live.

  Alysa missed her plane and when she did arrive seemed overwhelmed and had a lot going on in her life, several major changes happening at once. We’ve all been there- that’s what trips like this are for- support and radical freedom, I said! Alysa slept in and asked us to bring her breakfast on the first day.

  Day one we had a wonderful time, watching the sunset- so much laughing, telling fantastic stories, pouring support (and wine) to each other.

  Alysa was sneezing. She and I went back to the house while our other pals stayed at the restaurant.

  We had lovely conversations, as she sneezed again I gently asked “do you think it could be COVID?” Alysa replied both adamant and distracted “no, no, it’s allergies, I always get a summer cold.”

  The next evening we spent three hours eating a shared dinner in an indoor restaurant, under a fan, close to an open patio. Alysa’s sneezing intensified.

  You know what happens next. When we got home, the two virgins no longer were. Two pink lines on the test strips. I was so angry.

  Alysa insisted she never had the virus and was treated for a bacterial infection with antibiotics.

  What I learned: friends of friends do not think the way you do.

   Do you wonder why the U-S has been the epicenter of the pandemic? Partly it’s because of how the plague has been politicized and our former president’s abhorrent handling of the virus. Remember his words- “we have more cases because we do more testing. If we didn’t test we wouldn’t have as many cases.” Huh? How does that even make sense?!

   We all know that you can be re-infected. And while the Omicron variants may not be as virulent as the initial waves, still this is about protecting other people- do you want to spread this to those who are medically vulnerable?

   My anger stemmed from the disregard for other people’s health. Would you want to give your friends even a cold?

   Everyone is fatigued at this point- we just want it to go away already. Instead let’s learn to live with it. For me that will be asking questions and knowing my traveling partners. (that includes your political beliefs if they affect how you handle your health care)

   I’ve held two in-person retreats since the pandemic, both successful and safe for all participants.

   It’s helpful to know and share vaccination status, taking measures to be outside while eating- the key takeaway here is: IF YOU FEEL SICK, STAY HOME. This is a rule my family adheres to; we won’t have family visit us if they are sick and we won’t go to a family gathering if someone there is sick.

   I’d also bring along a rapid test kit if traveling with someone outside the household.

  This could have helped us identify if our friend was positive and at least we could have taken precautions and started making plans in case we too got sick.

  Have the talk prior to your trip. Let friends know your guidelines and if it doesn’t feel right, don’t go. There’s no need to explain that you are taking steps to protect your health and that of your family.

We certainly created a memory. I’ll never forget this experience.  

    I am fortunate to have a guest bedroom and bath to isolate in to help protect my husband- who was soon to go on an international research trip. My son was spared this go-around, although several of his events had to be cancelled since I couldn’t take him. I paid communication partners hundreds of dollars to get him to his college class since I didn’t want to infect all of them too.

   Because I caught it early and have an immune disorder, I took Paxlovid which (despite its own issues, “Paxlovid mouth” yuck) helped knock it out after three rough days.

   No snuggling with your fur baby though, health experts say dogs can get COVID 19 from us so it’s best not to sleep with your pups when you are sick.

   Once home, another friend said “well, it was worth it because you had such a good time!”

   Some day we will probably laugh about this, but I’m not quite there yet.

   First, I’d like to get my sense of smell and taste back.