Navigating the shit storm

   It’s been a rough few days for this country. I can feel it in my city of Atlanta, in me- this sadness, anger and anxiety lying just beneath the surface. Yesterday, I was worried about the young man who helped take groceries to my car. What if he gets pulled over by police? Will he be afraid and forget to keep his hands in the air? What if he becomes angry? To wake up this morning and read that five police officers were killed in Dallas, I started to go numb. It’s heartbreaking. It’s hard to know what to do, how to act.

   Last weekend, before this recent round of madness exploded on our national scene, I was shown a racist image at a social gathering in the Midwest. A friend had given this image to an elderly person. For some reason it was shown to me. When I named the thing as racist, I was told it “was just a joke.” I responded, “not a funny one, there is still so much ugly in the world.”  We know racism feeds on fear, insecurity, ignorance and is kept alive by compliance. There is so much fear today. We can’t wait for all the racists to die, what can we do now?     

     I don't have the answers but I do know that to move beyond anger, it first has to be felt. As a health coach, I walk people through the change process and help them get unstuck. But no one is going to change if they don’t want to; there needs to be some level of self-awareness and free will.  Anyone who makes the bold step of getting support is ready.  I’ll often suggest brainstorming to someone who is looking to make a change. Being locked in anger can prevent any positive steps from being taken. The anger needs to be expressed in order to loosen its hold. I call this the "shit storm." You have to move through the shit storm before you can brainstorm. You can’t get to the love, understanding and solutions until you move through the shit storm. We are all in pretty deep right now.

   How can we change this consciousness of racism for those who don’t think they are racist? I don’t know. Going numb is not the answer. That’s why I had to write today. A black woman I was talking with this morning urged me to speak up, saying- “we need white people to support us.”

   Stronger together, may we keep looking for ways to move beyond the fear and make it through the storm.

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